I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting in an auditorium chair, the lights around me were dark and the stage lights in front of me shone bright like a beacon from above. My mom and I had gone to see a friend’s dance recital. I was no more than 5 years old. As I left the auditorium that day I knew I was a dancer. I could imagine myself on that stage, shining exactly like the girls I had just watched.
There was a dance program that came to my elementary school every Friday after school. My mom signed me up. Through the years those Fridays turned into Monday through Thursday classes at a studio and being the helper at that Friday after school program. I was dancing everyday and I loved it.
The truth of the matter though, was that I had to work really hard. I was not naturally a good dancer. My legs were awkwardly long, my turn out was dismal,and I essentially had two left feet. I was determined to keep at it though because I had never loved anything more.
Fast forward to a few nights ago… I had just finished taking a dance fitness class. As I came up from drinking out of the water fountain a woman said to me, ” I had so much fun watching you in class. You looked like you were having a blast. You literally smiled to whole time.” I thanked her and confirmed the fun I had just had. I began getting my things from the cubbies and another woman came up to me and said, ” I loved watching you today. You looked like you were having so much fun.” At this point I began to wonder if I had just tuned out everyone in that class. I thanked the woman and said, ” I just really love to dance.” As the words flowed from my mouth my heart leapt with joy and (it felt like) my entire dance career played through my head up until this moment and in the same instance the Lord softly said, “This was for you”.
The gift of dance began for me out of love. My earliest memories of dancing go as far back as my daddy holding me in his arms swaying to his favorite songs in our living room and having a blast dancing with my cousins at wedding receptions. Then it became dance classes, then college, then audition after audition. Hearing no more than yes. After opening a dance studio it became about proof of progress. Why should we support your cause? Prove to us its worth it. The Lord then began nudging me to close the studio. Now God was saying no? But then, “This was for you”. In those words the Lord was saying to me, The love of dance that I knit in you was always intended for you. It was always supposed to be the thing that brought you joy. The vehicle to drive you from place to place until you arrived to me. I’m giving it back to you. You can just love it again. You don’t have to prove a thing.
Phew….What a gift. What a precious, humbling, peace giving gift..
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. (psalm 37:4)
Through the years my love for dance became the need to prove that I was good enough. The Lord would not stand for that. His faithfulness stood true once again.
What is the desire of your heart? Do you think the Lord would agree with you? I encourage you to ask him. He is eager to answer.
I pray you are doing what you love today!