-move the feelings

The orgin of the word emotion derives from the French word esmotion, derived on the model of movoir: motion, from esmovoir: to set in motion, move the feelings. In Latin the word is ēmovēre; move, motion.

To move the feelings…

Over the past several months Pryor and I have talked about how it’s been hard leaving the ones we love. We’ve talked about how its been surprisingly hard to open ourselves up to new people and our new place. So, the other day I mentioned to him I felt like God had brought us into a “desert season”. He quickly chuckled at me and said, “what are you talking about? Look at us and how far we’ve come? I’m the closest to God I’ve ever been in my life.”
I felt two things in that moment. 1. Complete joy that my husband, after many spiritual ups and downs, feels closer to God than ever in his life!! Pure Joy
2. an immediate heaviness because I realized I’m in this “desert” ALONE.
And low and behold, as our conversation continued (because God is so good like this) Pryor said something to me that gave me a clear vision of what this desert season is all about for me. He said, “Babe, I watch you tell anyone who will listen about God’s grace and forgiveness for them but then you hold yourself to some other standard. If grace is real why aren’t you accepting it for yourself?” Ouch.
And there it is, this feeling of a desert I’m having is way deeper and older than a recent move. This is years of holding onto guilt, shame, and fear that the Lord wants to dig up and out.
Emotional Desert. This is where I am. I see God’s hand in it.
I hope this helps others.

road covered with sand
Photo by antas singh on Pexels.com

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